My in-laws are 90 and they want to stay socially connected
How do we support our loved ones as they age and lose community but want to stay socially active? How do we determine what senior-living community will support this need and enhance their social connection?
These questions have been on my mind following a visit last month to see my in-laws for the first time in 2 years. They’re both 90, but still living in the house they built with their own two hands. It’s a beautiful locale up on a hill in the vineyards of southern France overlooking a restored 12th century chateau. My father-in-law is a retired elementary school principal, and they didn’t have the money when they built the house to fully level the ground, so there are steps everywhere. My mother-in-law, a fierce gardener, has covered the property with gorgeous flowers, a huge vegetable garden and fruit groves. They both loved to host! Over the last 30 years, visitors of all ages are always welcome, though they have a soft spot for welcoming the younger members of the family and their friends! They still manage to always stay in touch with those close and distant.
The house design wasn’t a problem until the last couple of years. While my father-in-law has been relatively healthy, my mother-in-law has had both hips and one knee replaced and twice broke her back after falls walking the dog. She still gardens, but the fruit trees are gone, and the olive trees are dangerous to harvest (even if my father-in-law still climbs high up on a ladder to do it—to the chagrin of all of us). Their life is smaller and closer to home, but still has a sense of vitality with days filled with things to do.
As we visited last month, it was also clear they wished they could socialize more, especially in the winter. I was touched when my mother-in-law, stated that when the weather is cold and grey, friends and family make it feel warmer. For people who were so active, social and adventurous (they met and raised their children—my wife and sister-in-law, on a small island in the south Pacific), they are often bored and seem to miss the camaraderie of regular visitors.
The government provides a support person to come to the house for 10 hours a week to help with cleaning and small chores around the house. My wife and sister-in-law have encouraged her to spend some time simply sitting, chatting, and laughing with my in-laws since that seems more important than a well swept kitchen.
But my in-laws know life in their home and in their routine is one bad event away from forcing a move to more supportive housing. If it comes, we want to make sure they are in place that matches their spirit, sense of fun and their philosophy that life is there to be lived and happiness comes through connection. They have told us they want a community where it is easy to socialize and would prefer a more multigenerational setting. We’re looking, but it is hard to really know how to find such a community, especially since most communities have no stats or hard information about social connection or strength of community.
On the plane back home, I was thinking about the trip and what would come next. I was reminded that it was these types of conversations about my own father’s loneliness and difficulty with finding new social connections that led me to found Klaatch. Our experience talking to older adults and those whose provided them with programming and services is what ultimately led Klaatch to find its purpose. Its why we developed the Social Quotient analytics and service platform to measure individual and aggregate loneliness and to help communities craft better solutions to reduce loneliness and social isolation.
If you would be willing to have a short conversation on how your community builds social connection, we would be honored to listen. Please email to set up a time to talk: adam@klaatch.com
Adam Greene, Klaatch CEO and Founder
Adam has 20+ years of experience as an entrepreneur, senior executive in public and private companies and investment banking with expertise in corporate finance, M&A, management, team building and corporate strategy. It was the conversation with his father’s healthcare coordinator about the role that loneliness seemed to be playing in his father’s deteriorating health that was Adam’s tipping point for founding Klaatch.
